I AM the Host with the Most

Logitech is looking for three hosts to throw parties in swanky apartments in LA, San Francisco, or New York. They list a specific set of qualifications.

After reading the qualifications, I'm convinced that I am the best person for this job.

Logitech will be screening applicants based on the following skills to help Logitech introduce Logitech Revue with Google TV™: (1) the ability to coordinate and host multiple media events; (2) the ability to create and update audio, text and/or video for blog and social media posts; (3) active user of prominent social media networking platforms and tools (such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube); (4) strong interest in technology with high enthusiasm for innovative and new consumer electronics; and (5) not required, but a plus to have a background in event planning, social media, marketing, public relations, communications or journalism. Logitech may also consider social networking participation, including size of social contacts and quality of social connections and/or engagements.

I'm perfect for this. Really, exceptionally, uniquely perfect.

I want this gig more than I've wanted anything in a long time. It's all I think about. I'm so right for this.

Drastic times call for drastic measures. To ensure that I get this gig, I'm taking hostages. Until I'm named the Logitech Host with the Most, I'll take hostage old, fat, helpless TVs. They don't have Logitech Revue with Google TV. What good are they?

If you don't want TV blood on your hands, then I need the ransom. Make me the Logitech Host with the Most, and these TVs can live out their old age in peace.

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